A few weeks ago, I had really started refocusing back on myself. My daughter is now 9 months old and for the first time ever, all of my energy wasn’t worried about keeping a small human alive. For the first time ever, I was really starting to come into my own as a mother and had gained confidence in my new role. I suddenly had energy (not much!) to something else. I was feeling creatively drained. So drained that I could not even attempt words to a page.
For days I tried to fight that.
Trying desperately to put words to a page, yet failing every single day.
I felt defeated.
Rather than give up (per usual), I tried something for me that I could do. I just started listening to podcasts. While I was getting ready in the morning for work and every time I was in the car. Tiffany Han of Raise Your Hand Say Yes literally saved me. That was my first step.
I might not have been ready to jump back on the horse and write my heart out (for a million different reasons no one has time to read about today), BUT I was ready to listen about creative women rocking it. Women who had been in the same spot I was in now. Just listening was my first step. Listening to this podcast. Listening to my thoughts and feelings. Just tuning back into myself. That was all my first step was.
Slowly I was able to write a little bit more in my journal each day. Throw some thoughts down on paper, and try really hard to not feel ashamed by how horrible it all was. Not super polished and Instagram perfect.
It is important to listen to your inner voice. If something doesn’t feel good or if you are struggling to do it-STOP. Just don’t do it.
It doesn’t mean don’t do it forever. It just means not right now.
Find something that does make you feel good. Listening to Tiffany Han interview women who resonated with my core made me feel good every day. I wasn’t letting myself get down about not producing any work right now. Or the fact that I haven’t been in the last year. Nope.
I was just feeling good. And listening to myself.